remember like an elephant forget like a fish

tellittoreadersdigest:

one of my friends noticed a mosquito had landed on his bicep so he flexed and the rush of blood to his biceps muscle filled up the mosquito so much it exploded and to this day it’s one of the most badass things I’ve ever heard

(via checkkkmate)

supjono:

when people unfollow you and you’re left wondering which post was the final straw

(via stay-ocean-minded)

liampain:

“who are you wearing” the interviewer asks. “marc jacobs” the celebrity answers. marc has been skinned alive and made into a dress. beautiful.

(Source: matthitarchive, via crystallized-teardrops)

hommewalk:

I need a part time job that pays $20,000 per week.

(via cc-unt)

drarna:

i may not be your cup of tea but i’m your 10th shot of tequila

(via cc-unt)

luciefr:

i even procrastinate things i actually want to do

(via cc-unt)

piercingsandink:

Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed

oh wow

(Source: realhumanbaby, via cc-unt)

rupsidaisy:

If all crime was legal for 24 hours I wouldn’t murder I would probably steal a bunch of stuff and spray paint penises everywhere

(Source: rupindre, via crystallized-teardrops)